It’s not about me… 

Finished watching Dr. Strange. Taking some inspiration and a lesson from this quote for the night:

Arrogance and fear still keep you from learning the simplest and most significant lesson of all. 

 It’s not about you.

Is always known this simple truth. But it takes on context in a dramatic setting, and finds new energy to inspire in that light. It’s not about me. 

 

I’m weak

I lasted 6 days. 

6. 

I had to find a way to kill the empty spot inside me so I texted him. And then we talked. 

No were not back together. I don’t know what we are. It was just a comfort, nothing more. 

I don’t know if I should feel happy that I heard his voice or angry at myself for giving in. 

Backstitching bitch

The end is in sight…. Sort of… 

Beadwork around the crown and throne completed. Backstitching has begun. 

They say the devil is in the details. I think whoever coined the phrase was doing backstitching on a crossstitch piece, cause, damn, the bottom half of this is a Lot of detail, and a bit of hell. 

But I just keep telling myself it’s going to look FABULOUS when it’s done. Lol. 

Buddha Progress… Almost there

The swirls are complete. All that is left is the backstitching for the bottom half,  and the beadwork.

I put in one row of beads so far…  I really like the dimension it gives… 

When I started I told myself I wasn’t going to use the beads, because I wasnvt confident in my ability to make it k good. So the crown has regular cross stitches, but they are about to be frogged and replaced. 

This is the first large piece I have ever completed. Feels good to see the end of it, and looking forward to framing it and hanging it in my meditation space. End of the tunnel is in sight! 

 Namasté 

Ending the Addiction

SlaveryEnding a toxic relationship is like trying take yourself off of an addictive drug. It makes you feel good while your in it, until you experience those bad reactions, the hangovers, the negative side effects. And you keep justifying and telling yourself you’re stronger, you can handle it, you can Change it. And even after you make the decision to rid yourself of it, the little voices in your head that want that fix, that make you desire the companionship of that drug, still echo in your head, make you second guess yourself, again and again. Maybe it wasn’t so bad. Maybe I can handle it again. Maybe I can give it one more chance.

The only way to be strong, is to remind yourself of the bad. The pain.
The anger.
The fighting.
The screaming.
The crying.
The ridicule.

I won’t ever let myself get drawn in again. I deserve better. I deserve more. I deserve happiness